The kaleidoscope of meaning

How do others see you? How do you see yourself? If you have experienced relational trauma the reflection often creates an illusion, not only to others but to ourselves. It is so easy to become defined by lived experiences and much harder to engage in the integration work that is so necessary in order for identity recovery. You see it can take a long time. Here in the West time is never an option.  Or so it seems.

Trauma shatters. There are many jaggard pieces in the mix. But each piece has vibrant colour.  No wonder it is often hard to connect with others. Sometimes the colour is too bright. Or too bold. Maybe the brightness blinds us?  Maybe we get hurt by the sharp edges? Maybe we collide with one another and create even more broken pieces? Maybe we just don’t want to risk ever being hurt again? Whatever happens the result seems to be further relational isolation. And yet we know deep down that relationships have the potential to also heal.

Why do we continue to allow trauma to speak out our identity. Whatever gave trauma this right? Who ever allowed it centre stage? Trauma can not and must not have the final say. Am I really only the sum of broken pieces? Am I really only who I think I am or who others say I am? Who is brave enough to engage in this relational wasteland? To shout enough is enough.  Who is bold enough to call out what is merely an illusion? Who is willing to be part of true community, all of community, not just together with the familiar and the known? To recognise that sometimes the picture only becomes clear the longer we sit alongside. It comes with a new perspective. It comes in the use of a new lens. The true picture emerges in the process. The kaleidoscope of meaning.

But who do you say I am?

Louise Michelle Bombèr – July 2024